Very new and a bit skeptical

[Exile95]

Hi,
I just signed on today and appreciate the open ear. I sought out a forum due to some interesting things that have occurred in my life that have leaded to seek “enlightenment” or at least keep an open mind. Forgive my ignorance in some of the questions I will propose. I have always been a “logical” thinker but my skepticism in this line of thought (occult) was more due to my interactions with some of the people who are into the occult. I will try not to offend anyone but I am sure like in all communities you have some who are just there to belong to something “different”. These people are often more of a hindrance to people like me. I have decided to look into this further, but already feel a bit of skepticism creeping in. I want to keep my mind open and am looking into any insight that may help.

[Lady Dunsany]

Have you heard the old adage the more I learn the less I know. Welcome.

[bakeneko]

Hi!

Well, was not so different for me. Basically I felt drawn to the "occult" since I was a kid - but somehow my skeptical side took over again and again. And I had some problems to integrate it in my "normal" life.
Finally I studied philosophy (with literature as major) and it made "click" - for me at least. Through Greek philosophy (such as Hermetics and Neo-Platonism) I finally got a foot in the door and it even made some sense. But this is just my story.
Amazingly, about 90% (or so; math was never my strength) of my friends (outside the internet) have no idea about my interests in magic etc. 3 or 4 know that I am interested in "this weird old philosophy stuff", and 2 know this goes even a bit further - but even with them I don't discuss details. Maybe this will change, but I have the feeling that the "normal" world is not very understanding... except if it is about card readings, "channeling" and such stuff...which they do not take very serious either (of course there are again some people who take this way too serious).



I will try not to offend anyone but I am sure like in all communities you have some who are just there to belong to something “different”.

Yeah, I know this feeling. Basically you will see those people in every field. Can't be avoided. And in a community as this, you have quite a lot of different people who gather because of one common interest.

[Red Serpent]

HAHAHA Lady D, you said it right! Seriously, I got a headache today trying to figure out something that was as clear as day to me yesterday :/ There are really so many layers to things and skepticism is good: it makes you question things and peal those layers off till you find the essence.
...Ah those 'sheep' as I like to call them - they are everywhere and no, you can't avoid them (in my case: longer I am on the path, less such people come up to me). And those over-righteous-know-it-alls that still approach, criticize and condemn me (and don't even know me, but DO know that I am a sinner and I'll go to hell if I don't sincerely repent for my evil thoughts and deeds - :confused: ), really don't have anything new to tell me that I cannot laugh at and dispute. I don't consider them a hindrance, but funny and amusing.

Exile95: Welcome and have a nice journey on OF - I hope you'll find what you're looking for - people here are Very helpful, patient in explaining things and great teachers - this made me feel at home almost right away.

[Gazeeboh]

Exile, what is it you are looking for in the Occult?

This will result in greater or lesser amounts of "truth" that you will find.
Just remember, that no matter how much we might like to think so, none of us are logical.

[Lokia_Zos]

Just remember, that no matter how much we might like to think so, none of us are logical.

...I only hope it's so.

[Balam_del_Monte]

Like bakeneko I have also been drawn to the occult when I was younger and I I've just taken action to my interest and I have no regrets. I feel that this community is a whole part of me that I've just been reunited with.

[Lady Dunsany]

I feel all the members here are family, and like family we have different ideas beliefs and practices but we are still family. Everyone here has respect for each other and even though we have differences of opinions we still come together.

[Exile95]

First of all thanks to everyone for the warm reception. Helping understand where I am today is probably my first goal. A quick bit of history may help. I am a combat vet. During my time over seas I had seen the best and worst that humanity had to offer. I always took what I saw with a grain of salt. Partly due to my upbringing lead me to accept things as some greater plan that was outside of my comprehension. Beside that, I had a job to do and did well. My actual job was a medic so my job was first and foremost to help people. My perception changed when I returned to the states and was stationed at an old Navy Hospital. Hear I saw something that I haven’t been able to shake. I was assigned to a instrument sterilization post that had been converted out of an old ward in the hospital. On a number of occasions while working late I decided to sleep at the hospital rather than return to the barracks. I would crash on the couch for a few hours and get ready for duty the following morning. One night while sleeping I woke up but felt I couldn’t move. I could see, hear, and had a general sense of my surrounding but felt unable to move. I have heard of people being in this state after long periods of exhaustion. What sticks with me is that I could hear all of the sounds you would typically hear in an old field hospital. Men crying in pain, nurses calling to doctors. As I mentioned this ward was no longer used as a medical ward. The whole building had been converted to support and logistics. After general conversation I learned that this ward I had been working in was once an “expectant ward” which is a nice way of saying that troops who were expected to die were placed here. This ward had not been used since the Korean conflict. I know some people may be thinking I am making this up, but I don’t have enough time in a day to waste on make believe. This experience happened one more time before I was transferred. It was after this that I decided maybe there was something to the “paranormal” This lead to reading up on it. If there is truth to “Ghost Stories” perhaps there is truth to many other aspects including the occult. If this is the case, then I owe it to myself to learn as much as I can. What I am hoping for is the following:
1: Has anyone else ever had an experience like this?
2: Is this “real” or just a result of combat service?
3: If this is true, what does it mean?

Thanks,