Need direction & guidance

[ninfan]

"Here I sit, a foolish bore
no wiser than I was before
No dog can live like this
knowledge gained is far from bliss
So I resolved my soul to free
through blackest magic and dark alchemy"

The above words describe my condition, I got into the occult a year ago but I still think that I need some path/direction.

Honestly, I know what the problem is, the problem is not lack of resources, its actually having too many resources. With so many books to read & so many practical exercises to perform, sometimes I feel I am just skimming off the top & never really delving deep. Yes here is where I am going wrong - just skimming everything but not really going deep into it. Its mostly coz of my restless nature I guess. I hope some can feel what I do.
Coming back to the 'direction' part, out of so many books & options available how does 1 choose anyone?
Here is what I have been upto
meditatiing daily, remote viweing, sigil magick, used to perform the LBRP.. soon going to try astral projection..thats it. Should I add something more?
I hope I don't sound like I am asking for spoon feeding.
I think a good way will be to only select specific areas of occult & focus only on them instead of skimming over everything. & keeping targets for e.g in so & so weeks i have to finish so & so book & make a daily list of rituals/magickal exercises to be performed.
The problem here is more with me being disorganizes I guess.
Thanks for reading or contributing

[Rezenic]

Have you tried to find out what is personal to you?

I agree. Do this and you'll find what you need. It's helped me, though I have to say at times, I'm still a little lost, but I think we all are.

A teacher said this to me and I think it may help.

"I've wandered the world and found everything within nothing. Every time I would need something there has always been someone or some way to get to it. Often when I thought I was ready, I really wasn't, and when I thought that I knew nothing, I was ready to move forward onto the next stone. When I was truly ready to fall off the cliff there was always another stone to catch me until I was ready to leave again."

[Veneficus_V]

All roads lead to rome, but none of them are better than any other, except for perhaps that nifty new bypass they put in via the main road ... i digress.

Detatch emotional thoughts from your mind, and feel what your higher self wants to follow first, notice i said first, when you are done with that subject move on, and on, and on, for eternity.

Part of understanding what you wish to persue will come from understanding what you really wish to do with magick at THIS CURRENT point in time, yes, it will expand and diverge in time, with age and wisdom.

In Modern Magick by Donald Michael Kraig, in the exam questions at the end of the first lesson is the question.

Why do you want to study Magick?

Its a question only you can answer, and theirs no right or wrong answer, however it gives insight into yourself on many different levels, and if you wish to do a specific thing with magick, then it will give you an indication as to the direction you should take.

A solid base is important so i adopt a perfectionist attitude and treat my studies as if they are the only thing in the universe that matters (because to me they are) And as such, i progress very, very, very VERY slowly, however everything i have learned is 110% accurate in every way.

Ive always thought, the study will take as long as it takes, and as long as it takes is worth it so long as its perfect.

Know Thyself

I hope ive been able to help in some way :)

[ninfan]

Thankyou all for all your answers & I am sorry for replying so late.
Over the past few years I have been trying to understand myself (still am)
Magick may also be related to one's desires. Desires are again related to one's own self.