Little zingers

[VIRAL]

Here are some classic insults, and most of them are famous quotes. Don't worry, none of them are obscene.

"Idol of idiot worshippers!"
"Methinks thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee."
"Thou crusty botch of nature!"
"Sell your face for fivepence and 'twould be dear" (Translation: I don't like your face but you gotta purty mouth!)
"Go and fetch thy mama. I shall wait."
"Mercy! Dost thou wish me to die of laughter?"
"Twixt thy cousin and thee, methinks medusa is the prettier"
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here!"
"Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?"
"You should love nature, despite what it did to you!"
"You're lucky to be born beautiful. I was born a liar."
"I called him gay and he hit me with his purse!"
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks so."
"How did the same species beget you and me?"
"Please, stop smiling! do you wish me dead?"
"My name is Temujin. By the way, nice village!"
"Isn't that splendid, dear? The Borgias have invited us to a feast!"
"Who did your hair, Salvador Dali?"
"Who did your makeup, GWAR?"
"Idaho? You da ho!"
""I'll bet your father spent the first few years of his life throwing rocks at the stork."
"When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?"
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
"Anybody who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice."
"Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?"
"Must you leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea!"
"Don't take those silly meds, we like you senile!"
"How many tits does your mother have?"
"You've changed your mind! Where's the diaper?"
"You are nobodies fool, but maybe someone will adopt you!"
"I would have been your dad, but the guy in front of me had exact change."
"Mirrors can't talk and luckily for you, they can't laugh either!"
"I've always liked surprises. Say something intelligent."
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
"Whatever is eating you- I feel sorry for it."
"you're not yourself today. Good work!"
It's a shame they didn't spay your mother."

[Plarkenstorf]

Swears allowed?

"You're a walking argument for abortion."
"You couldn't be more of a c*nt if you glued pubes to your face and doused yourself in cod liver oil."
"Looking at you makes me realise something, Hitler had the right idea, he was just an under acheiver."
"Rub your two braincells together and make a fire."
"Tell your mum she still owes my dog f*ck money."
"You look like a bulldog chewing a wasp."
"Buck-eejit" (woo Scots)
"You're built like the side of a visa"

Come on lines allowed?

"Baby, come back to my place - I've got a stanley knife and an alum key, and your inner child's screaming to get out."

[VIRAL]

Guy one: "Sir, either you will die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
Guy two: "Sir, that depends on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."