Feeling guilty

[MarkAntony]

Hi. Im new to this forum. Lately ive been trying to expand my knowledge regarding sigils and stuff like that, and just read the previous thread about ''writing stories that become reality'' and now it hits me... It seems everytime i make up lies, those lies happen? 4 months ago i was trying to explain something to a friend.. she wouldnt accept excuses for me not wanting to go out. So i made up that my cousin who was widowed the month before has killed himself over his loss and i had to go to the funeral. I made it sound realistic and even imagined it as being true.

It is true that his wife had died the month before, but not true that he killed himself. A month later he was hospitalized in a psychiatric clinic for not being powerfull enough, taking pills to die, trying suicide etc.. He truly loved his wife and was down. Anyway, Last week he died. Could this be my fault in some way..? Some other things ive lied about before have also happened later on. But these were lesser silly things. Please dont have a go at me for not knowing nothing about the subject of sigils or wishing things, my knowledge on the subject is not much, its probably just me feeling guilty and stupid, but any opinions on this? Thanks

[zero]

coincidenses do happen i think you already answered your own question.

[Light]

Maybe it's time for you to reflect on things and turn a new leaf.
Lying makes life a lot more complicated.

[captainrackham]

Hi. Im new to this forum. Lately ive been trying to expand my knowledge regarding sigils and stuff like that, and just read the previous thread about ''writing stories that become reality'' and now it hits me... It seems everytime i make up lies, those lies happen?

"Your thoughts are deeds" - Edgar Cayce

There's a lot of sources that say that the things you imagine, daydream, wish happen, et et. are all happening on some other plane.
Whether or not this is true, it's important to realize that it's best to keep your thoughts focused and positive to reap all the benefits life has to offer..
if you think of bad things often, then that becomes the nature that's most reflective of you.

Our minds are like vivid... mood rings or something. Your whole surroundings change because of how you think-say-do-characterize... call it your 'aura', call it whatever.

You're prolly feeling some kind of regret over a possible impact you *could* of had over this guy's life.
Everyone's pretty inter-connected in a lot of ways, and the dumbest stuff makes a lot more impact than a person can realize... don't beat yourself up over it too much.

[ArkhamQueen]

our brain is a very busy thing. it processes a lot of information we are not aware of. in making up your lie it is possible that your brain accesses the information (also about moods and atmospheres - you probably didn't notice consciously) your brain had collected before 'to make it realistic'. Because lying has a social function our brains are keen in it. (That does not mean I am approving it)

[Aradia]

I would say these are coincidences. You had nothing to do with this. When we talk about something and it comes true, that does not mean we made it happen. We are not gods. We can't talk about something and it comes true.

[ArkhamQueen]

yes coincidences.. but our brain make it more probable to happen, so that the feeling comes up that this cannot be random occurances

[captainrackham]

I would say these are coincidences. You had nothing to do with this. When we talk about something and it comes true, that does not mean we made it happen. We are not gods. We can't talk about something and it comes true.

I'm inclined to disagree....

Whether or not there is such thing as 'no coincidences' or not, many things have unique purposes -- all is much more interconnected than one realizes -- and there is a particular fascination with this story for this person, is there not? Why would a person feel guilt for a situation like this?

Sounds like MarkAntony has some reason for feeling like reflecting on this.. and simply wonders if any one else thinks it's worth it or not.

We're constantly responsible for all that happens around us. The gift of free-will is a heavy, potentially burdensome thing that we all possess.

*that being said I do not think he's responsible for this particular thing -- but I encourage him to think about why he feels so guilty about it*

It's hard to definitely say whether or not thoughts/deeds or so much as discussing something *doesn't* have an influence on something. It very much possibly can.

And when we talk about something -- that is sometimes the second step to doing something.
You have to think about doing something first before anything.

Why do you think some refer to the realm of thought as a realm of creation. Because they need each other. You think - therefore you are. So do you create.

The ability to create gives certain divine properties. One may argue that it is the very essence of that which makes divinity.


I'm very surprised that an 'occultist' would actually tell someone that a human being is not divine. Channeling godhead? Aspects of higher being, quests for enlightenment? Ghosts and legends?

You might as well tell him you're wondering if you and him are in the wrong place...

[Light]

what it also is, we program ourselves and write a chart before we incarnate. the joys, the highs the lows, etc. once we are here we can modify it if we choose, but the experiences are pre programmed. you sensed it would happen because you had already wrote this in your chart in the astral before birth. the other person chose this experience also to experience it with you. it is not that you made it happen here, but it was surely to happen. you can not feel guilty as this experience could very well have been the other person's choice and brought you along with them. as far a being a god, we are all children of God's and this is what i as an Alchemist strives for.


Beautifully put !

[captainrackham]

what it also is, we program ourselves and write a chart before we incarnate. the joys, the highs the lows, etc. once we are here we can modify it if we choose, but the experiences are pre programmed. you sensed it would happen because you had already wrote this in your chart in the astral before birth. the other person chose this experience also to experience it with you. it is not that you made it happen here, but it was surely to happen. you can not feel guilty as this experience could very well have been the other person's choice and brought you along with them. as for a being a god, we are all children of God's and this is what i as an Alchemist strives for.

That's true... everyone has their own personal 'records' to go with the main one so to speak. There's an infinity that exists in all of this, and I don't mean to seem arbitrary in a sense, but only about this : *feeling* is that correlated with free-will, and free-will is over-emphasized by any higher power, lower power, and all in between - and that it is much more important.

Regardless of what is in your records -- you could cross the veil today and when you pass the bridge from the valley and into the lighter realms, you'll find that the beings there don't always remember who they were in this life... have never looked on their records, nor their age after a point....
hell, in the darker realms, they're just in agony, pissed off, selfish, and they don't remember how they got that way... just that they are.

It's heavily based on senses of feeling. You know right from wrong not because a law tells you so -- but because of your feelings and consciousness.

He's feeling guilt -- therefore regardless of whether or not this was charted for him, the chart is not what's important. It's his job to find out what it is that truly makes him guilty. It might not be guilt entirely... it could be other feelings too. It's pieces of the puzzle that define the soul.

Why do some of us feel good when we remember our childhood? Others feel terrible relating to this time in their life...
it defines them because of their feelings. I can't emphasize this enough.

How will this situation in the end effect you -- make you grow, and evolve, and become even more fluent in love and empathy?

It can also make you apathetic, and cast aside any care at all... and it could be a rather unremarkable point in your life.

Infinity of possible ways... it will forever change you if you so mean it to - and that is the gift of free will... the only possession our very soul fires can keep forever...

[Light]

We all have a Core self/ Will/ Higher self, whatever you want to call it..Loose this in your Mind/Ego etc., you're in big trouble.
Find your radar and things usually click back in place. It doesn't mean life will get easy, but less confusing as you are following your True self and the debate, analyzing oneself becomes less of a burden.

[captainrackham]

We all have a Core self/ Will/ Higher self, whatever you want to call it..Loose this in your Mind/Ego etc., you're in big trouble.
Find your radar and things usually click back in place. It doesn't mean life will get easy, but less confusing as you are following your True self and the debate, analyzing oneself becomes less of a burden.

Yes.. but generally the selfish separate self is going to conflict with your higher self.. I don't even think acknowledging the struggle really makes it any easier...

It's like the difference between taking a nice hot bath surrounded with candles and incense... nice and comfortable...
or
Your water heater is busted, and you're forced to take an ice cold shower in the middle of winter.

And then you can admit that these two situations are different... but naturally -- 10 to 1, people are going to pick the top, right?

You can say that the higher self is constantly trying to divert your attention to the important things... but that doesn't mean your selfish separate self is going to make it less of a burden... you might even go through the trouble of convincing yourself that the higher self is bullshit from random time to random time... just to keep your selfish side happy.

I almost am convinced that it only gets *more* confusing.. regardless... ignorance in a way, really is bliss... knowledge has a way of working against itself.

So best of luck to MarkAntony, you really do have a unique situation... just like Isabeau said... one step at a time.

[devakxes]

It could also be that your mind has a desire to make those lies a reality and thus sub-consciously seeks to create them. So much is sub-consciously picked up whenever we have interactions with people and you may have been giving off the signal that they should commit suicide.

It could also be that you are in touch with fluctuations in the aether like Isabeau said, or your creativity and emotion is so strong that you create thought-forms capable of such acts.

Some people also tend to accidentally Will their thoughts to occur without realizing it. In these cases, the person has a strong Will and doesn't know how to control it.

Just something to mull over in your head.

[Light]

Yes.. but generally the selfish separate self is going to conflict with your higher self.. I don't even think acknowledging the struggle really makes it any easier...

It's like the difference between taking a nice hot bath surrounded with candles and incense... nice and comfortable...
or
Your water heater is busted, and you're forced to take an ice cold shower in the middle of winter.

And then you can admit that these two situations are different... but naturally -- 10 to 1, people are going to pick the top, right?

You can say that the higher self is constantly trying to divert your attention to the important things... but that doesn't mean your selfish separate self is going to make it less of a burden... you might even go through the trouble of convincing yourself that the higher self is bullshit from random time to random time... just to keep your selfish side happy.

I almost am convinced that it only gets *more* confusing.. regardless... ignorance in a way, really is bliss... knowledge has a way of working against itself.



There are many ways of seeing the ego/ mind not just as a selfish side. We have many egos actually..The child, adult, the teenager etc...
All these personality traits needs to be balanced, as if one of them gets neglected or overly indulged, an imbalance will occur. Being present in your higher self, you end up being the observer of all these traits and being in charge of the child you, the adult you etc..this is where your ability to balance yourself comes in. It takes a lot of work and not many understand this concept easily, but getting there , makes life so much easier..

[captainrackham]

There are many ways of seeing the ego/ mind not just as a selfish side. We have many egos actually..The child, adult, the teenager etc...
All these personality traits needs to be balanced, as if one of them gets neglected or overly indulged, an imbalance will occur. Being present in your higher self, you end up being the observer of all these traits and being in charge of the child you, the adult you etc..this is where your ability to balance yourself comes in. It takes a lot of work and not many understand this concept easily, but getting there , makes life so much easier..

I like this thought from a standpoint... I actually remember thinking this exact thing for the longest time, but I always had more of theory that it involved emotions instead of phases of a person's life.
Like the associations with these phases, you tend to have more emotion -- specific kinds with each one.

But when you find your higher-self, who's the driver of the vehicle that is your body -- catering to the wants and needs of memories, desires, and even perfectly reasonable different aspects of an 'ego' -- which in it's very raw nature is selfish in every sense of the word...

It's an ego putting a spin on wants. In a sense.. an ego denoting the want to express many different facets of itself -- and convincing yourself -- which happens all the time in a mask of doubt, that not feeding it is in fact an imbalance.

Not feeding the ego causes you to lash out at yourself. People who generally have what they want are sated in most every sense, don't worry about the same problems that a person with wants, desires and ambitions suffer from.

A wealthy person's ego might simply fear that it can loose everything that it's acquired or given for example.

Catering to these needs simply makes one's selfish side agreeable. There's nothing to bitch about, so let it ride.

Test it... start taking all the un-necessary things out of you life, all the extra goodies, the fast food, the dining out, the fun activities, watch the ego start to lose it... and make you convince yourself that you need it after all...

You might find yourself saying that entertainment is a necessity... it really isn't... but you'll convince yourself that it is.

Your ego is your worst enemy -- creating all kinds of diversions and distractions to keep you down here and not evolving your mind as early as you can.

There is an infinity of expressions in a person -- just like you said Light -- all different and some are better than others...
sating the ego will always make life hella easier. You're not fighting yourself anymore.

But this stalemate is going to cause a lack of growth inside. Fighting it makes it stronger, feeding it more.

The only way to end it best... is to 'starve' the ego to death... by selfless acts of love.

[captainrackham]

yeah stuff gets off the subject, but it's still indirectly to the point - which is how the convo gets there in the first place.

You can't tell a person to do something like forgive themselves and expect them to do it, and I or anyone else on a damn forum sure as hell not responsible for making sure it happens.

It's up to him, and not you or anyone -- which is why you have 'indirect' advice to encourage him to procreative ways of thinking...

[Dusted Agore]

hello MarkAntony

this could be merely a Coincidense, but if you do truely believe your thoughts some how aided this then allow yourself to grieve, you will come to acceptance and move on.

but if you accept you aided in this do not allow the experience to be wasted, learn from it and evolve. you have learned your thoughts alone can affect a change in the world, the small push here and there from your thoughts may create a snow ball like effect.

i hope you come to the conclusion that it was just coincidental, if not we must try to learn from every experience.

[MarkAntony]

Hi guys, Im soooo sorry, i have been away and didnt reply before i left. Ive been carefully reading all your replies, and i thank you for all your thoughts. It seems theres a lot of interesting things that i can learn from sharing this story. I simply associated what happened to other things, but i guess he made his own destiny. Sorry my reply is so short, im not a person of many words, but i truly apreciate your input in this, it made me think about many things :-)

[Jastiv]

I write a lot of fiction where I change the characters in certain ways so they only contain parts of myself or other people. I find it to be a helpful way of working through my feelings, espeacialy when I am conflicted with myself about something.

I have done a few things I felt guilty about later. Wishing someone dead, for example, when they died, and wishing someone else harm. But now I'm not dwelling on all the negative feelings anymore or feeling like I have to give someone else a big black cloud of negativity. I've learned to turn more of those negative emotions for positive purposes.