[ V ] Ad Accumulum Infinitum
The accumulation of experience is an on-going experience that can only be appreciated with the passing of time and the opportunity for retrospection. The result of looking back on ones past follies and observing the notions that one held dear at various times in life may elicit a chuckle and if one is lucky: help evolve an understanding of life as a river of shifting miasma that carried the organism along in its current whereby the hapless being snatched in vain at the various twigs and logs from the Tree of Life floating by as they drifted toward oblivion [Qv. Sechnacht].
If you are twenty now, you can expect to change your mind about what is what for the rest of your life. Think of your experience as a life so far. As a child you grew and grew mentally stage by stage, assessing, discarding, adding etc until you were a teen. You continued to do that until now – and in your young age you will no doubt exhibit the tendency to rationalize, look for absolutes, and entrench yourself in your own self-importance. And, it is natural to do so. Remember what you have written today, and remember to look back on it when you are 21, 25, 30 etc. And it will reveal to you something that you, by virtue of being in time with yourself, cannot hope to see until maturity, age and change have taken you far from where you stand in your castle of ideas, to other lands wild and fanciful – that in many ways bear no resemblance to the self ideal you treasured at the age of twenty. There is a danger at your age especially, of the ego trying to solidify itself and fix the world just so. Something that you may only notice when you, like me, can look back on the overall geometry of your words and writing: for therein lies a secret arcane language that despite itself and what it wants to communicate, cannot help but communicate something altogether different beneath the words to the initiated. People forget easily that they grew and grew as a child, adding, subtracting but always changing, renewing ideas re-evaluating etc. I urge aspirants: don’t forget that link with your past. In your travels that are yet to come, don’t let your ego solidify itself at the age of twenty and walk you around possessed with a static view of the world. I guarantee you will change your mind on your views again and again as you get older. Nothing is permanent. And will one day, look back on your places of bricks and mortar as the foundation of your pyramid of skulls.
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