I abandoned HooDoo when I was twelve. Tell your friend to be careful Dolls have a tendency to come alive after midnight. If you are mean to them they will take revenge. WHOOOOOOO!Originally Posted by Gazeeboh
I abandoned HooDoo when I was twelve. Tell your friend to be careful Dolls have a tendency to come alive after midnight. If you are mean to them they will take revenge. WHOOOOOOO!Originally Posted by Gazeeboh
Dollies are pretty dangerous. My buddy learned that though.
Here is something new for all you guys.
00------------------------00
Christmas Wizard or
The Evergreen Transmissions
---------------------------------------
Point 1.0
Lies-
Everything you know about the Christmas holyday is a lie. There is no holyday magic, no reindeer flying through the worlds skies, no good or bad lists, and most importantly there is no Santa. Not like one would be led to believe at least.
Santa is a dangerous villain and fugitive. He was originally a German citizen in the 1900's, and made his living by swindling innocent children and poor parents out of their money by giving them false hopes of an imaginary charity organization. Instead of taking their money for the charity and spending it on gifts for everyone, he simply pocketed it himself for alcohol and all manner of sweets.
It wasn't long before German Police Forces cracked down on Claus. Sometime in the late 20's he was incarcerated briefly for his crimes against humanity. In prison however, he went mad. Mr. Claus had an extreme inferiority complex and had a deep seated physiological need to be important and beneficial for mankind. Unfortunately, his complex was so severe he just settled for being important, and evil.
Mr. Claus broke free of his prison cell late one night on Christmas Eve. Upon his exit, he quickly made it his point to find a safe place to live. Before fleeing Germany, he would steal all of the elves for his own plans. He did just that. For months he avoided German authorities and went on to eventually obtain his goal of hording all the Germanic elf population.
Upon realizing his plans, he stole a sleigh attached to eight reindeer (the origin of the mythical flying sleigh) and headed off to the one place on Earth that no one would look for him; the North Pole. With only the occasional scientific team poking around, which are easily slain by the sight of elves, he was alone finally.
However he still had to fool the world into believing that HE was the power of the season. Out of his army of elves he sent only those most highly trained in espionage to travel the globe. The little creatures spread word quickly "Santa Claus is not your enemy, be good and ye shall be rewarded". They spread these lies and false Christmas customs all throughout the lands. Santa was trying to be the best, trying to claim powers that were not his to claim. He was perverting the one true master of Christmas festivities.
The Christmas Wizard!
Point 2.0
Truths
Christmas, as celebrated today, is the result of the Christmas Wizards efforts. He is the anti-thesis of the leech that is Santa Claus. Where Santa is soft and flabby, The Christmas Wizard is strong and powerful. Where Santa is full of lies, the Christmas Wizard is full of truth and wisdom. Where Santa's hat is flaccid and floppy, the Christmas Wizards headgear is virile and manly.
Ever since he was a young man, the Christmas Wizard trained in high magic. He went on to learn a great deal of secrets, powerful secrets that make a man more than a man. Other wizards, like the Wizard of Thanksgiving and the Wizard of Easter, were quickly surpassed and fell by the way side. Eventually, our hero, was awarded the highest station of all, that of the Christmas Wizard.
Upon receiving his station, the world took a turn for the better.
Point 3.0
Methods and Practices (knowledge of the fruits)-
To obtain your desires on the season of the Christmas Wizard
You must place your wishes on parchment, written in the month of December.
Take your parchment and place it upon the Altar of the Christmas Wizard,
Which shall have been placed upon it,
One Christmas Wizard wand (a small pine tree)
Christmas Snacks (to be replaced bi-weekly)
Two Candles (White in color)
A bowl to receive the burnt offerings,
And ye shall light the altar candles, symbolic of the north and south poles, the unity and separation, the above and below. Ye shall then take thy wish parchment and catch it aflame and it shall be placed in the bowl to be alchemized to ash. Whilst the alchemical process is underway, call out to the Christmas Wizard
"Highest Holy Day Christmas Wizard, hear me now. I send to you my wishes and my praises. None other can do what it is you do, none other can claim your station or power. Banish all that is Santa, your enemy and King only of Lies. Christmas Wizard, grant me my wishes in the name of Good Will towards men."
Mediate upon the operation until the offering is burnt thoroughly. Clap twice sharply and bow to the alter, hands left in closed clap position and brought to forehead. The ritual is complete.
Santa is a lie. He exists, but he is no where near as awesome as the
Christmas Wizard.
With his pine tree wand, and mind control powers, he is the obvious choice and the true force behind Christmas magic.
The Christmas Wizard is the true Lord of the Season (second only to Jesus if you like). He uses his occult abilities to determine who deserves gifts, but the decision is not made by judging the moral character of those who ask for presents. Instead, he delivers gifts to those who have made offerings and paid homage to him.
The Christmas Wish List is created and burnt on the Christmas Wizard Altar(tm). Doing so releases the desire and leaves the hard work up to the Christmas Wizard. If done correctly he will begin his mind control onslaught.
The Christmas Tree is in reality an antenna, used by the Christmas Wizard to direct his occult energies into the household. Direct exposure to these rays will enter into the individuals mind and chi systems, resulting in a near uncontrollable urge to buy and give gifts. The corresponding items to your burnt list will be made prominent in the mind control rays.
So do not be duped by obese men in red suits. They have no power and cannot help you obtain your seasonal wishes. Instead, know the truth and make your offerings to the only one who can and will work for you. The Christmas Wizard
---------------------
An awesome ally that me and my friend discovered last year around this time. This is all the information we have on him, or at least all that he told us.
Ah yes root work!!
Did you ever think, as a hearse goes by,
That you might be the next to die?
They wrap you up in a big white sheet,
And bury you down about six feet deep
They put you in a big black box,
And cover you up with dirt and rocks,
And all goes well, for about a week,
And then the coffin begins to leak!
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle on your snout.
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,
They eat the jelly between your toes.
A great big worm with rolling eyes,
Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes,
Your stomach turns a slimy green,
And pus pours out like whipping cream.
You spread it on a slice of bread,
And that's what worms eat when you're dead.
They wrap you up in a long white shirt
And cover you up with rocks and dirt
They put you in a long pine box
And cover you over with dirt and rocks
The worms that crawl in are lean and thin
The worms that crawl out are fat and stout
Your eyes fall in and your hair falls out
Your brains come pouring out your snout
They use your bones as telephones
and call you up but you're no longer at home
Your eyes pop out, your teeth decay
and that's the end of a peaceful day
You turn the color of sickening green
And pus comes out like butter and cream
You wipe it up with a piece of bread
And that's what you eat when you are dead
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose
They eat the jelly between your toes
Your stomach turns a mossy green
And pus comes out like fresh whipped cream
You wipe it up with a piece of bread
And that's what you eat when you are dead
Rotflmao.........
It is a song? Can you send it to my email? I love it.
I second the thing about staring into the mirror and simulating death. Both good things to do, and Chod also...and this song writing business, especially if you're involved with Musique Concrete.
Would making muzak bring about enlightenment? Why are you still seeking something that won't protect you from much of anything, except maybe getting angry at both the right and wrong moments. le sigh
I was expecting different KKK chat when looking at the title.... The contents have all gone over my head
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Bookmarks