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Thread: Stuck in the black flame? I lose my ego on a weekly basis now.

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    Default Stuck in the black flame? I lose my ego on a weekly basis now.

    "Whosoever disregards this does so at his own risk and peril. These are most dire. Those who discuss the contents of this Book are to be shunned by all, as centres of pestilence."

    So don't see me as an evil bringer of the end times.

    The next AEon is like a grilled cheese sand which, it doesn't mean it's the only food I eat. It just happens to be one I like.

    I have people in my local community who wish to have be gone because of things I've discussed and things i've typed on my laptop in public coffee shops. Some of them even know the occult, I think?

    They understood what the AEon of Ma'at was.

    I believe I have some sort of psychic spy about me. Is this possible, do you think? They, know things I don't even know so I don't see how it could be from inside myself. They can predict what the television will say on a new episode word for word with a good amount of delay.

    I've felt the most cold emptiness, the absolute shifty psychedelic quality of quicksilver, the constant lies and ridicule I go through from these beings. I think they are trying to teach me a valuable lesson such as when buddhist monks hit with sticks and shout paradoxes .etc to transcend the veil of the ego and of maya.

    They really seem to have a problem with me bringing up Pan, and they also have claimed to be the Eleusinian Mysteries. They took this whole God/Messiah complex I grew out of ego loss from spiritual alchemy. I believed that I had to place my hand where my hand was male and female leg with leg chest with chest. Then I was to emasculate myself, and IPSOS from the same mouth. Drink from the cup of life. None of this in our realm of physically existing, but if you haven't seen it it's even more real than this real is I promise you that: considering this would all be done in that space we go after the dark flame, after not letting oneself fall into fear but continue without care or consequence. Otherwise it shall be interrupted as I'm sure you've noticed. This is around the time of what one may call the sacred marriage. This is the time for my magic workings.

    Now someone heard how I wanted to emasculate myself and become a female hermaphroditic form and copulate with oneself to generate the required energy needed for an entire AEon.

    This is a VERY vague explanation of my theory. I also don't know if I could let the fate of the world rest of my shoulders if any of this COULD BE true. Don't lecture me, I can feel all the negativity of the world rushing around me on a daily basis calling me out for a fight trying to trick me into believing something that will undo or lock oneself into place unable to escape. I hear voices, prophetic ones. Not always of the nice variety, I've felt entities full of such despair and wickedness that all i could do was laugh in madness.

    No I'm not using Lovecraftian mythos in my magic rituals. But the madness is beckons me, almost laughing saying " You wanted the knowledge of all that has been of creation and all that which is? " " Well, don't you worry. I'll MAKE SURE YOU GET IT. "

    This again is keeping it short, I could go into mythological revelations into personal stories. I just hope someone hears my call. Oh, and if you're going to tell me it's schizophrenia... well, say it but I'm also VERY versed in medicine, psychiatry, and psychology. If you think it's schizophrenia call it my red dragon then... If you believe you have something helpful PLEASE enlighten me.

    I'm just on my quest of the great work, and I've come across these demons in my path. I'm not saying they are Daemons... Perhaps it's from losing ego enough times, I'm stuck in the black flame from day to day. Almost like a daily abyss? Could it be the quicksilver? Or the Dual natures of venus? Ah I give up you guys know what I'm asking.

    Every song I hear I can relate to ego loss and the stages of alchemy. The great work has taken over my life. I just don't know what I want the outcome to be? Transmutation of oneself? The creation of another world? the next AEon? Not all these are the same ritual but touch on the basis of entry into the gate.

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    Was there a question there somewhere?
    Magus III°
    Ordo Luciferi
    www.tarkhem.com

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