I don't think toadbile really did anything wrong. He told you what changes he thought needed to be made, showed what it would look like, and then asked you "Wotchue think of the changes?" I think you should have just compared the original and his and said (thank you but im satisfied with mine or I'll take this change into consideration)
Pesonally I think some of the changes are good but some, like the first line, change it a bit to much. Anyway no need to bicker.
Bane your poems are pretty good, I like the first two the third was kinda *meh*
"The individual exists because there is a point of reference to identify itself" Haruka-RahXephon
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