Chinese Divinations

Chinese Divinations

From <<The Book in the Jade Box>> (PinYin:Yu Xia Ji)
Translated by Morbid Wizard

FACE HOT DIVINATION:
23:00-01:00 Money,Celebration or lucky and happy thing.
01:00-03:00 Warriable thing.
03:00-05:00 Guest and party,very lucky!
05:00-07:00 Guest,Food and Wine.
07:00-09:00 Guest will come from far away,and you will be happy.Lucky.
09:00-11:00 A guy in an emergency will come to meet you.
11:00-13:00 A relative will come to meet you and chat.
13:00-15:00 Lawsuit or wrangle.
15:00-17:00 You will meet a man with wisdom or authority.
17:00-19:00 You will meet a man with wisdom or authority.
19:00-21:00 Food and wine are coming.
21:00-23:00 Lawsuit and unpeace.

EYE TWITCHING DIVINATION:
23:00-01:00 L:Someone will help you. R:Food and wine.
01:00-03:00 L:Something worriable you doubt. R:someone will be sad.
03:00-05:00 L:Someone will come from far away. R:Celebration or lucky and happy thing.
05:00-07:00 L:Someone will help you. R:Peace and luck.
07:00-09:00 L:Guest. R:Little Bad thing.
09:00-11:00 L:Food and wine. R:Bad thing.
11:00-13:00 L:Food and wine. R:Bad thing.
13:00-15:00 L:Very Lucky. R:Little lucky
15:00-17:00 L:good for business. R:A girl is missing you
17:00-19:00 L:Guest. R:Relative will come.
19:00-21:00 L:Food and wine. R:You will get money.
21:00-23:00 L:Guest. R:Lawsuit

EAR HOT DIVINATION:
23:00-01:00 Buddhist monk or Taoist will talk to you.
01:00-03:00 Very lucky!!
03:00-05:00 Food and wine,very lucky.
05:00-07:00 Someone from far away to meet you,lucky.
07:00-09:00 You will get money and everything is lucky.
09:00-11:00 You will lose money or something.
11:00-13:00 Happy thing,very lucky!
13:00-15:00 Guest will come for your help.
15:00-17:00 Food and wine,party or banquet,lucky.
17:00-19:00 A girl will come to you.Love and marriage.
19:00-21:00 Lawsuit or wrangle.
21:00-23:00 Wrangle.

TINNITUS DIVINATION:
23:00-01:00 L:A friend is missing you. R:You will lose money.
01:00-03:00 L:Wrangle. R:Lawsuit.
03:00-05:00 L:You will lose money. R:Impatience.
05:00-07:00 L:Troubles. R:Guest.
07:00-09:00 L:Go far away. R:Guest.
09:00-11:00 L:Bad thing. R:Very lucky.
11:00-13:00 L:Letter from far away. R:Relative will come.
13:00-15:00 L:Food and wine. R:Guest.
15:00-17:00 L:You will go outside. R:Very lucky.
17:00-19:00 L:You will lose money. R: Very lucky.
19:00-21:00 L:Food and wine. R:Guest.
21:00-23:00 L:Very lucky. R:Food and wine.

SNEEZE DIVINATION:
23:00-01:00 You will meet a lucky guy and enjoy food and wine.
01:00-03:00 Women keeps keeps silence,guest wants your help.
03:00-05:00 You will meet a girl and enjoy food and wine.
05:00-07:00 Money,happy and lucky,guest will come and do something together.
07:00-09:00 Food and wine,very lucky.
09:00-11:00 A lucky guy will come,money,lucky.
11:00-13:00 Traveling guest,party and banquet.
13:00-15:00 You will meet someone and enjoy food and wine.
15:00-17:00 You will have a bad dream,to go to restaurant or party is unlucky.
17:00-19:00 A women will come to ask something.
19:00-21:00 A women is missing you,love and marriage.
21:00-23:00 Scare at first,but lucky at final.

MUSCLE TWITCHING DIVINATION:
23:00-01:00 The eldership will come,very lucky.
01:00-03:00 Lucky thing will happen to you,very lucky.
03:00-05:00 Bad thing will happen,but it will turn to good thing.
05:00-07:00 You will get money,very lucky.
07:00-09:00 Very bad thing will happen to you,very unlucky.
09:00-11:00 You will meet guest or friend,very lucky.
11:00-13:00 Something worriable you doubt,but you're lucky.
13:00-15:00 Good thing will happen,you're very lucky.
15:00-17:00 To avoid wrangle will be lucky.
17:00-19:00 Very bad thing will happen because money,very unlucky.
19:00-21:00 A guy who travels far will come,very lucky.
21:00-23:00 Very lucky and happy thing will happen.

STRONG HEART BEAT DIVINATION:
23:00-01:00 A girl is missing you,happy thing will happen.
01:00-03:00 Bad thing,unlucky.
03:00-05:00 Guest,food and wine,very lucky.
05:00-07:00 Food and wine,guest.
07:00-09:00 Good reputation,happy thing,very lucky.
09:00-11:00 A women is missing you,happy thing will happen.
11:00-13:00 Food and wine willl come,very lucky.
13:00-15:00 A women is missing you,very lucky.
15:00-17:00 Very happy thing will happen,lucky.
17:00-19:00 Good news,very lucky and happy.
19:00-21:00 Someone will come soon to help you,very lucky.
21:00-23:00 There will be a evil guy,very unlucky if it's about you.

PS:I translated this from an ancient Chinese oucclut book.I'm not sure this is 100% real.I just think this is funny.

Divination was common practice in ancient China. The famous Classic of Changes involved divination. But Confucianism is generally disapproved of divination and magic, preferring instead rationalism. Most of Chinese governments have abolished the divination and prophecy, and in particular those that reflect adversely on current leaders.

I agree with Morbid Wizard in that it is pretty funny. What eventually became the highly stylized, somewhat complicated, Confucian influenced 64 hexagram I Ch'ing system was originally a one or two lined reading for simple yes or no questions used for everyday affairs. And, the divination system of the I Ch'ing is highly interpretive (like all divination), so I wouldn't be surprised if what Morbid Wizard found actually is real. Especially when you consider that a traditionally popular Taoist talisman is one used for the sole purpose of dislodging a chicken bone from someone's throat. And almost anything and everything can be explained by "good" or "bad" feng shui. Guess that the ancient Chinese fang shi couldn't leave ANYTHING to so-called chance!

I concur. So silly, in fact, that a good bit of Irish whiskey could be helpful here too. ;)