crossing the abyss and meeting an angel
Hello everyone I am going to share my experience of crossing the abyss and meeting an angel and I would appreciate any feedback.
This occured about a year and a half ago. I was meditating, visulization exercises and doing a mantra.I got lost in it and the mantra shifted and took on a life of it's own. I couldhear my own voice inside my head without any concious control talking to me. I was completely unable to move at this point,it felt like my muscles were convulsing and electricity was preventingme from moving. The voice persecuted me telling me that i was evil and that i would go to hell and ask me quistions and I would get an oppurtunity to answer. The answer was completely within concious control, then if I lied to it thewhole room would flash red and i could hear a siren going off and my muscles would convulse tighterr and the energy around me would clamp down around me,like it was crushing my soul. If I answered truthfully the room would flash green my muscles would loosen a bit given me some relief but immediatly after gave an answer I would lose all concious control and another quistion would come at me. This went on for what seemed like an hour but was really probably about five minutes. Finnally when given the chance to answer I didnt answer the quistion asked me I just screamed in my mind at the voice, at myself, my inner deepest shadow, I control you, I will live with the choiceses I made and so will you, and then an undescribable sound came from my mind pouring at the entity, my primordial way of saying skrew you I think. Then I just felt relief for a second and thought that that partof me had been cast away, that evil dark area of my psyche that I had so longed refused to give a rightful place in my mind had been cast out. I felt so ecstatic, all through the next day my mind worked extremely efficient andfast jumping from mountain top to mountain top, connections formed faster then i could conciouslly connect them, it was very close to pure intution.
The next night I was meditating again and after about an hour I felt my body being taking over muchlike the last night but this was evenmore powerful it not only could keep me from moving but force me to move, which I realize now, that not being able to move is it forcing me to move as well in a looking glass sort of way (just realized that right now(wow typing this out helps(like i knew that before but now I KNOW it)). I was sitting and it forced me to stand up and tilt my head up and the world dropped away and lines pulsated out in horizontilly from my kneck forming a long plane like my head was in a box and I could still see the world below but it looked farther awaythen it was like it was another dimension ( I know now I was on the outside looking in, while my outside was looking out for that matter) Inside this box was a room the sidesof equel dimension except the two which had triangles at the top like it would have formed a roof if they came together but they were suspended there. There was a desk in the middle and i remember thinking in an intuitive sort of way "that's my desk".It was weird though it was like my head was sitting inthe chair looking forward so that i you wouldnt think i could see the chair but icould in a precognitive kind of way. Then I started looking around the room as if i was turning my kneck left and right but i wasn't it was physically held in place it was my minds eye like a camera lense doing this and I could zoom in and out at will (I realize now i was astral projecting) from the center. So my minds eye had control over and the abilitie to manipulate spatial dimensions which at the time i was like This is awsome. There were stars outside the room streching out to infinity that I could see through the open ceiling, where the roof would be if the triangles came together, and alittle bit through the walls if i wanted to, like they were a bit translucent, and my minds eye was capable of penetrating them. my minds eye floated around the room a bit, going left and right, and zooming in and out , going up and down. I noticed a bluish,purple energy and I believe there was alittle green to andi would look at it and it would runlike i was chasing a dragon (now i know what the term means other than applied to opium smoking) and i could only catch a glimpse of it's tail. This went on for about a minute i think but it could have been any amount of time,it lost meaning. I was determined to see the entire entity and i chased it around the room faster and faster. Finally in a split second, a true moment, it turned and looked at me. At first i got the image of one large redish orange eye like looking at the sun out in the middle of space from earth. Then my minds eye cast back behind my center in the chair and i could see my astral body and the entity, a blue snake, big like one would think of a god, and it rose up in the cosmos above me and the big eye glowed in a this weird pre cognitive vision (like a vision seperate from the vision, or the two worlds emerging, as above so below, i think it was the creatures mind eye) at the same time in proportianitly main vision the creatures two physical eyes also glowed, not as bright as the minds eye one though and it seemed like from across infinity laser beams shot from it's eyes into my astral body and physical body at the same time. Then I was forced to sit down,or more like i was knocked down by the lasers but I definetly went through a sitting motion it wasn't like poof, I collapsed, it was rythmic. Now it was opposite, the regular material world was very clear and it seemed like the astral was farther away then it should be as if it was another dimension.So the lasers hit me in the astral and carried me into the physical, or something like that or maybe they were in perfect balance, and i just perceived one world to be the main one because i hadn't broking from the illusion of time and space yet (which i think what crossing the abyss is all about). It felt as if my body was getting ripped apart and that the explosion caused from the impact of the laser beams was expanding outwards infinetly, but still moving spatially at the same time, like it was already at infinity and still moving towards it and beyond it at the same time. proportianite to this impact line i could feel an area in my brain expanding, mucxh the same it was like it had already expanded to infinity but icouldstill feel spatially in my brain that it was moving towards it and beyond it, so i think my mind and brain were becoming one (as above, so below). It felt like i would be ripped apart at any moment or that i would simply lose my mind and i think both of these were entirely possible. I can't gauge how long this went on, it seemed like a minute. Then it stopped and I was completely back in my physical body but I couldstill feel the brain sensation and it still felt like there was a box over my head but i just couldn't see the walls anymore, or the creature or anything, i mean I still had the memory in my mind but no vision of it. Then I felt energy form in my root chackra and rise up through my spine and there was this trianglization of energy and the rectangles hypotnuse and bases dimensions expanded outwards in front of me from my crown chakra and root chakra and as it did this the triangle became more and more oblong and containing more mass until I got to freaked fought it off and the energy came rushing back to my body. I think now that the laser beams energy were gardnered from the part of me I had cast off the night before and the was using it as fuel for it's mind's eye (the engine to use this fuel) and shot this part of me that I had thought i wasrid of back into me cosmically charged.
