Greetings and confusion!

Hello people!

I have stumbled upon this forum mainly out of frustration. I am interested in many topics that tend to fall under the description "occult", and sadly till now most of my research and discussion has been confined to the internet. That is of course not entirely negative, but I would greatly prefer a face to face exchange of ideas, knowledge, and what have you. I am very happy to have found this forum, though.

At the moment I am reading Manly Palmer Hall's "The Secret Teachings of All Ages" and various other books on Dhamma(vipassana buddhism). I have been meditating for around one and a half years. I find that many buddhist ideas and the ideas described as "occult" are often in conflict with eachother, or at least my understanding of them creates the conflict. I am intent apon coming to a point where these two philosophies complement eachother, and that is the main reason I have joined this forum. I hope that by entering discussion with you I can overcome this inner conflict.

The essense of my conflict is as follows:firstly, one of the essential ideas in buddhism is the idea of "non-self"(lack of self), and that much of the suffering one experiences in life comes out of the illusion of self. That is, grasping and clinging to something that doesn't exist, or doesn't exist in the way in which we perceive it, is the source of most of life's suffering. Key to many "occult" practices seems to be a very firm sense of self with the goal of strengthening that sense, and living truely to it. These two ideas seem to opose one another, and although I see both as containing much wisdom and insight, I find myself struggling to incorporate both views into my life. For example, I read the post on the Lesser Banning Ritual of the Pentagram. The author, whose name I forget, stressed the fact that it helped deepen one's sense of self, which, as I said, seems to be in conflict with the idea of "non-self". Maybe I am wrong however. Maybe the sense of self that one gains through the LBRP is the realization that one is an indivisable part of a whole?

The second part of the conflict is the idea of God. I have never believed in or experienced the presence of a God, but there was a time where I desperately wanted to. That time has since past, and I have come to a point where I accept the fact that I just don't know, and may never know if something like a God exists. I find myself quite content without the idea of God in my life. However, many "occult" practices seem to be firmly based in the belief or knowledge of God or the Divine. Of course, many religious writings and philosophies should not be taken literaly, but are meant to be interpreted as metaphors. So, I have taken to replacing the idea of God with Nature. I find that it holds true in every case I have come across so far. I believe that Nature fuctions in ways far beyond our human perception, which is in my opinion very narrow. This could account for why peoples of old resorted to describing certain experiences as "divine" and attributed them to a God or Gods.

I also do not see humans as being seperate from nature. I see myself as an integral and inseperable part of nature. That is, an expression of nature. Conciousness, in my opinion, was not granted to me by the divine (something that M.P. Hall asserts), but is a manifestation of nature, as much as everything else in this universe. Again, maybe I am misinterpreting "divine"?

So, this is the jist of my conflict, and an introduction into the workings of my mind at the moment! I look forward to further insightful discussion, and would greatly appreciate some feedback. Maybe some of you have or had similar experiences?

with love, zoomare

Welcome. I hope you enjoy your stay here. Yes it can be a frustrating journey towards one's path. I also believe that nature and human go together. My thoughts are everything is alive from plants to stones to insects etc. My belief is what one does effect all. I am interested in seeing your posts.

Hello and welcome to the site and look forward to seeing your posts and input

I also believe that we are all connected to each other and all aspects of Nature

As we grow in Our Spiritual endeavors raising our energies that which is on the lower planes rises with us.