Help! and Hi

I'm new to the whole occult thing so please go easy on me. I am not really into spirituality but I have never been against it, I've just been riding on a different wavelength. I have an extensive background in academics, namely in Physics, so I do understand that there are vibrations, energies, or whatever you want to call them, in our environment; and the more I look into these sorts of things the more they actually seem to correlate with what I know to be empirical fact. I had just never really been interested enough either in God or in a lack thereof to have reason to look before now.

I wish that were my whole introduction and I was just delving into the occult for a more fulfilling, enlightened existence. Unfortunately I am in a very different situation. This sounds absolutely so crazy I'm not sure if I should type the rest of it or just check in to a mental asylum instead. Since a psychiatrist found nothing wrong with me psychologically and would only give me antidepressants which he said I didn't need anyways, I guess I will finish typing, lol. I want to learn about these things but I am afraid that by the time I come to an understanding it will be too late. It is in that vein that I ask for help from those of you who are already experts on this path, it would be nice to talk to someone else who believes and understands, and is not just using computer software to make a buck.

There is no way to transition smoothly into the crazy so....I'm pretty sure someone is trying to harm me with occult energies or that I have some purpose within this realm that I am supposed to uncover, maybe both. I don't want to give too many details about my life on the internet but to make a long story short, one day three months ago I got up from my desk at work and quit seemingly out of the blue. You would need to know me to know how out of character that is, but I'll tell you making a decision like that without forethought or understanding of my motives is extremely rare.

The next day I got lesions all over my skin and I literally became like a leper in a matter of days. I saw several doctors and nobody knew what it was. They finally decided it was a "photo-allergic reaction to natural sunlight" which makes no sense on about 50 different levels, but after two months of steroid cream I am finally better save for a few nasty scars on my hands. Since I quit my job, though, I went to stay with my parents in another city while the skin lesions were healing and I had a really disturbing visit.

My father rents out rooms in his home, and both of the men who were renting from him when I went there gave me really really bad vibes. One of them, though, who disappeared the day before I arrived (as in literally, he never came back for his stuff and nobody knows where he is), was very in to occult studies. I would confront him about all of this but he actually gave my father one of 8 names/aliases/previous addresses we found in his belongings so I really don't know who the hell he is even now.

The thing that really drew my attention to this person (or the first odd thing I couldn't dismiss away) was that he had hidden a rotting avocado in an indoor flower pot and buried beneath it (I found when I trashed the stinking thing) fishing weights, a piece of paper with my name on it, a little plastic figurine with its arms and legs broken off, and some sort of sealant, all wrapped and bundled in plastic. He also took the door handles out of some of the doors in the part of the house where he was living, and on other door handles he removed the screws or the locking part. He was very number oriented (as in collecting pool balls with 6 on them) and apparently, we found on the computer, he sends out photos of his house that he doctors through Helios Paint to have subliminal, often sexual imagery behind them, and he does the same thing with audio vibrations.

He had everything arranged symmetrically into little altar like things, candles, and I do not know much about the occult, as I said, but there was something definitely ritualistic about the way he had things arranged: things like lists of words and numbers wrapped in plastic with pictures of his ex wife bound in fishing net and broken compasses. There was definitely a fishing theme in all of the stuff going on.

I am really trying to keep this short but there's a few more relevant things. I had to sleep where this dude was staying once he left and I picked up a lot of negative energy from his room. I touched a window that shattered with light pressure from two of my fingers, and shortly after I was reading an old copy of the bible in that room and three separate outlets started smoking and caught fire. There is a creepy wall pull-out bed in that room and when I pulled it out he had scratched a pentagram into the part right above the headboard. I won't even go into the auditory experiences or the cold touches I've experienced there.

I also had an experience in that room where I woke up from sleep in the strangest state, it has only happened to me in that house. I was awake but I couldn't move a muscle, I was very aware of "something" else in the room with me but it was a strange reality, I could only see straight above me. I was trying to yell but no voice would come out but finally I managed to get someone down there, and when my sister touched my arm I could move again instantly and I guess I pushed it out of my mind.

So why am I writing all this? Well I had no job and a skin disaster for the past two months so i spent a LOT of time learning about astrology, numerology, esoteric studies, the occult, and tarot, and it turns out that everywhere I look someone is pointing to this or that obscure part of my horoscope or energy as significant to indicate benevolence and psychic energy. Every single resource, like a broken record, also tells me that someone or something is feeding off of me and it is making me sick spiritually and physically. Is it possible that I give off some sort of energy that someone else would want to manipulate or harm? it sounds so paranoid and foolish but it keeps nagging at the back of my mind.

I was wondering if the sorts of things I have described sound like anything anyone has heard about before. I would not put it past my father to be involved in anything by the way. There is a lot of image capturing, hidden cameras, visual and auditory manipulation that go on there. Both of the tenants (the one who left--through texts I found, and the one who stayed-- through interactions) were always very interested in where I was, when I would be in this city or that city, referring to me by name as people who had never met me a day in their lives.

Whatever this dude is up to it's probably more along the lines of Monarch Project mind control than demons and devils, but to be honest I wouldn't put either past that residence. Any experiences anyone has had, insight, or knowledge would be greatly appreciated. I am not crazy as much as I wish I were (if I could just take a pill and make all these people eff off it would be perfect). To be sure, I am not asking if everyone believes it is POSSIBLE to summon demons or put curses on people, I am just asking IF someone were to believe it were possible and try it, would it look like the sorts of things I was finding in that room?

I have lots more information if anything was unclear I am just shooting for brevity. Thanks!

Welcome and yes I agree with soddex , grounding and shilding to start off with...

Certain elements of this remind me of Awakening - the concept that a person's consciousness is expanding and latent talents and abilities are coming into focus. This normally causes also a lot of unpleasant experiences that normally are psychological. Sometimes it has even been known to coincide with the triggering of mental illnesses (my friend awakened and she is also a schizophrenic... fun times finding out what is real and what isn't). Mood swings, past life memories, as well as ''dark nights of the soul'' often occur and cause a complete and total change in the way you look at things and life. It will cause you to become sensitive to things hidden and to attract them as well.

The spell that you think is cast on you sounds either to be chaos magick (a blend of traditions or some spell that is just randomly made) or it is something african like santeria/voodoo/hoodoo. As to how to break it... I have no idea. You could do a spell in order to break the curse or you could find someone who is a practitioner of the occult and magick who is able to remove the spell.

Normally in this situation if you are Awakening - most people give off a beacon during the initial awakening that says LOOK AT ME! So he might have been attracted to that.

Anyway, Welcome.