Harassing auditory voices, visual activity, pressure in ear, & forced swallowing.
For awhile now I've been experiencing two or three voices that I'm able to have discussions with. They often just mock me and come around during the times when I'm alone or walking the streets outside without people around me. They've done things that can't be schizophrenia such as mentioning the reading of book i knew of but didn't actually know the meaning of it.
They say they are Gilgamesh, but that doesn't make sense. I didn't know about Gilgamesh till after I heard these voices. They aren't really freaking me out, not anymore. But they definitely have given me a good scare in the past. They've tried to get me to move out of my house, and said they'd leave if I did this. I then did exactly that and they still followed me. I don't know if Gilgamesh is from a book or character besides the demi-god. I found out it's a band too.
They've tried to get me to commit suicide, telling me that it was people I knew and that everyone was against me, had reached a life after death arrangement and I was the last one on earth or who hasn't moved on. Things, that they say will come on the TV before it ever comes on. I'll feel my heart beating weird and then the TV will have a commercial about heart attacks. Coincidences or Synchronicities?
They do this thing called demon punch, later renamed sufi punch where it feels like someone is punching me in the chest a little and then i have to swallow. I see visual distortions around me sometimes of white glowing light other times what looks like red glittery shimmering. One time it felt like literally my soul was on fire for about a millisecond, like a flash ran through me and it felt like fire was flickering throughout me? I've tried LBRP LBRH CC Analysis of the Key Word and LVX in ritual formula.
I also have a bit of spiritual emergence going on with visions and OBE. These entities can produce smells, sounds, thoughts, I hear knocking on windows like people throwing rocks at my window pebbles, I've felt extremely dark forces take me over and I let them to figure out what was going on, I've been sexually perused and for a minute almost perusing a succubus.
I don't do any black magick, I'm a follower of the Golden Dawn and somewhat intrested with Thelema but never practiced any Thelemic ritual. Perhaps I should? Perhaps the Goetia is something I should work on?
Wether these entities are just aspects of ourselves or if they are separate entities altogether doesn't really matter in the sense we are all microcosms of the macrocosm.
I'm going to try the ritual of the R.C. to help with my aura. Exercise of the middle pillar is also used pretty much daily along with the other rituals I've named.
I feel that until i silence these voices I won't be able to communicate with my HGA or Higher Genius.
Feel free to message me on aim: ASplinteredFawn.
Anyone wishing to play with me or **** around IS NOT WELCOME. I DON'T NEED YOUR NEGATIVE INFLUENCES ON TOP OF THIS.
Besides that anyone with any bits of wisdom or knowledge, anyone have anything similar?
The voices are female and I'm a male. So I don't know why I'd have this internal female auditory dialog. It's not internal dialog either, it's all auditory. Sometimes they can go into my head though and make me hear things in my inner mind that isn't me. I can tell the difference though.
