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can i be fixed?
forgive me for being long-winded, but sometimes a little history helps.
magick runs in my family. my great great grand mother was an
appalacian healer, she was half native american and i assume
that is where her abillities came from. while not many other
of my kin practiced any form of magick, there are stories of
psychic awareness throughout my mothers side. even she was at
one time a fortune teller, mainly palm reading and tarot, but
she could also see things in the crystal ball.
i however have more of my fathers intellectual nature in me.
often i am too analytical in my approach to things, and have
a rational outlook in general. but i too have had my share of
psychic occurances and strange happenings. i am however the
only one in my family to actually study occultism on a large
scale. which could be why i dont practice what i believe. my
mind is a whirlpool of confusion, but there aren't many things
which i truely believe.
i may have ruined my potential by my desire for knowledge.
i want to reclaim the primitive while still keeping my sanity.
is this even possible? or should i just let go of my logical
side alltogether? my passion for occult knowledge is getting
in the way of what my spirit wants.(i think)?
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You being analytical, etc. I can't see it being a problem unless you make it so. On the contrary, it can be an asset, if you use it as a tool, rather than getting lost in your head.
Some people let their brain be in charge, rather than being in charge of the brain.
It is after all, a tool and should be used as one..
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the logical side is how you can explain the spiritual as well as figuring truth and false. they both go hand in hand i believe. its a balance.
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Yes this is true.
One can not exsist without the other.
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I think you need to some time alone, without books, to really think about what you believe in and what you want to believe in. I think that is the real issue here. You WANT to believe in magick that deals with your roots but you found other things that you actually do believe in that don't connect. So either find connections or disregard whatever is causing you limitations and displeasure.