Finding my path... (Head's up, there's a lot of text)
Hello all!
I'm going to be a freshman in college soon and that means I'm going to be subject to a much different environment than I'm used to. However, as my high school years come to a close, I feel like I need some sort of guidance in my spiritual life. No, I'm not talking about Christianity or other Abrahamic religions - I don't have faith in anything of the sort, though my mother still takes me to church and I serve as an acolyte (rather out of a community-based duty and respect than religious devotion).
Ever since middle school, I've been interested in what you might call the Left-Hand Path. Satanism, Luciferianism, Demonolatry, whatever else you may associate with it, etc. My middle school years were just really scraping the surface and dabbling in study. As I moved onto high school, I began to develop a more mature understanding and thought of what I actually believed in. Problem is, I didn't know what I believed in and so I searched over the Internet for information, guides and what-have-you.
That's when I started to take things with a grain of salt. There's so much -excuse me- garbage out there. At least, garbage from my point of view. I've read articles about worshiping Satan as some kind of extraterrestrial, which I believed (and still do) to be nonsense. There's lots of -quite frankly- ridiculous stuff out there waiting to lure the inexperienced in. Lots of the books I've read have expressed viewpoints and ideologies that I found distasteful - notably Michael W. Ford's works among others. And many organizations or cults out there simply are very elitist, which I'm not fond of. I'm not really looking to "join up" with any cult at all.
I think what I really want is simply a religion of the self where I can work toward my betterment with the guidance of entities, or demons, if you choose to call them so. Demonolatry was a prime choice for me, though it seemed so complicated with different holidays, rites, etc. that I'd need to base my life around (At least that's what I found when looking up OFS Demonolatry). I'll give a simple list of my general beliefs I've established throughout my life - maybe you guys can help me. Perhaps I'm more suited to a different path altogether:
My core beliefs:
-All things of the world are somehow interconnected. To expand on that, I think humanity is one whole, with different aspects, or groups of people. Humanity needs to figure out ways to work toward its betterment, just as the self needs to be enlightened (unquestionably before humanity as a whole achieves it). Indeed, animals and plants are part of the whole and although seem alien to humans they are necessities on earth and have fates intertwined with ours.
-There isn't a heaven or hell per-say, but after we die, I believe we simply become part of the earth, or the whole and our essence goes to sustain new life. I have not decided if I believe in reincarnation or not, but the prospect is interesting.
-There are otherworldly entities (physical manifestations or otherwise) that work and have worked with humans to guide their paths toward enlightenment, or some kind of betterment. This is pretty similar to Demonolatry, though I have my own spin on these entities. I feel that each religion is a shadow of the religions before it, meaning over time, religions change, but the entities remain the same (despite being under different names or appearances). This would explain any similarities between the beliefs of ancient civilizations, like the Egyptians, Greeks, Romans, etc. One example would be Buddha and Jesus (and their teachings) in that they gave up everything to be stronger spiritually. Another would be Brahma's different aspects, or avatars which could be interpreted by Christians as God's angels. It would also explain why some people choose to associate Satan with Set or Loki.
-I believe there to be some sort of divine energy, or "magic" that we can harness with the guidance of our entities and use it towards our growth and self-enlightenment. Not the kind at birthday parties - heavens no, but something deeper, more personal and extraordinary. I believe we can become as gods in our own right.
-Oh, and I also believe in evolution and nature as a higher power, or part of the whole - perhaps nature itself is the whole and we are all aspects of it. (Going back to my first point)
Those are the very basics of my beliefs and there are more, but I'll leave you with that. I'd very much appreciate some constructive advice on trying to find a path for myself. Hopefully that wasn't too much of a pain to read.
