seeking advice

Hello. I am uncertain where I should post this or whether this forum is even the right website to ask this question. However I am open to any information and seek to do everything in my powerbto reach my goal. I have made it my goal to become a kitsune, or rather to achieve a state which mirrors the abilities, description, and physical appearance of one as well as the mental and spiritual form while retaining my memories, personality, and continual existence. I have initialy set about this through meditation and hypnosis, however I am uncertain of the plausibility of whether a biomorphic effect can be attained through that alone. And I am uncertain of my ability to retain my sanity simultainiously in my goal. I have made an oath to follow through on this as well, and my main motivating forces are my fear of death, my want to achieve something rare or be the first to achieve something, and my general facination with what I found in my initial research of the kitsune when I did a research paper for school, which lead to an extended search to learn more. That said, I realise the improbability for my success, however I have faith that if I give it my all and do all I can to learn more than it is truly possible. If you may have any knowledge which may help me that you would freely share, rhen I would be most thankful.