Ad Acumulum Inifinitum

[ V ] Ad Accumulum Infinitum

The accumulation of experience is an on-going experience that can only be appreciated with the passing of time and the opportunity for retrospection. The result of looking back on ones past follies and observing the notions that one held dear at various times in life may elicit a chuckle and if one is lucky: help evolve an understanding of life as a river of shifting miasma that carried the organism along in its current whereby the hapless being snatched in vain at the various twigs and logs from the Tree of Life floating by as they drifted toward oblivion [Qv. Sechnacht].

If you are twenty now, you can expect to change your mind about what is what for the rest of your life. Think of your experience as a life so far. As a child you grew and grew mentally stage by stage, assessing, discarding, adding etc until you were a teen. You continued to do that until now – and in your young age you will no doubt exhibit the tendency to rationalize, look for absolutes, and entrench yourself in your own self-importance. And, it is natural to do so. Remember what you have written today, and remember to look back on it when you are 21, 25, 30 etc. And it will reveal to you something that you, by virtue of being in time with yourself, cannot hope to see until maturity, age and change have taken you far from where you stand in your castle of ideas, to other lands wild and fanciful – that in many ways bear no resemblance to the self ideal you treasured at the age of twenty. There is a danger at your age especially, of the ego trying to solidify itself and fix the world just so. Something that you may only notice when you, like me, can look back on the overall geometry of your words and writing: for therein lies a secret arcane language that despite itself and what it wants to communicate, cannot help but communicate something altogether different beneath the words to the initiated. People forget easily that they grew and grew as a child, adding, subtracting but always changing, renewing ideas re-evaluating etc. I urge aspirants: don’t forget that link with your past. In your travels that are yet to come, don’t let your ego solidify itself at the age of twenty and walk you around possessed with a static view of the world. I guarantee you will change your mind on your views again and again as you get older. Nothing is permanent. And will one day, look back on your places of bricks and mortar as the foundation of your pyramid of skulls.

We have a thread The Myth of The Adult where this would have been very much appreciated. You make perfect sense.

Then I ask you to reflect upon your private message.

Satanism requires hard work, M'lady.

It took a lot of personal striving, breaking, pain and struggle to get to a point where this insight could be found. It took years of the agony of being self-honest with myself, of developing empathy, understanding and knowledge of who I am and how I relate to others. And is not, the 2-bit knowledge of the mouthy parrot who can criticize but offers nothing of lasting value of their own. There is blood behind these words, and the ability to phrase them in a way that is useful and can be shared with others requires a cetain approach to life that cannot be faked. Most are too wrapped up in their own inflated sense of self-importance to reach out to others, let alone themselves, in such a deep, lengthy, and profound way as each of THEM do. This sort of knowledge does not come from playing role playing games - it comes from living a certain way. And that way is not necessarily 'Satanic'.

That your moderator friend has not heard of us means nothing - we've not heard of him either - is this to be how our merits are to be judged? Or have you not already found something of value in what we have posted? If so, that is ALL that matters. Not how others view us, how many know us, but that you, that someone, has been able to use something we have found.

ISS,

PS. You are welcome to move/duplicate the thread.

I have believe it or not have found merit in your post. I hope I am not too bold to say it is indeed fascinating.