My life

Most people that I know, focus on the mundane and that is all that they ever dream of. Their empty cup of spirituality is only based on old ideas repeated for so many years, one religious teaching or none at all and that is it.


I simply do not enjoy that kind of thing anymore. I've talked too much and thought too much, so much is now repeatition or representation of the same old banality.


There is someone that I love but I will probably not get to be with him.


I don't want to die but I want to leave this life.
I've tried to be amused by this, by laughing as long as I could about it, but in truth the joke is probably not all that funny. I'm like a leaf in a river that I had not made or chosen.


I'm also quite tired of talking about myself.
I posted this to spend some time, maybe as a slight relief from boredom.

No one is mundane. We all have a purpose here and perhaps your purpose has not been revealed to you yet. Don't you want to stay for the second act? There is so much more out there for you so stick around. I could be a real witch and tell you to stop whining and suck it up but I will not but I will not feed into your doldrums. Do me a favor stick around for a few more years I think you will be pleasantly surprised. PM me if you feel lost.

I would suggest that if you want a different lifestyle then you shoukd make changes instead of waiting for something to happen and complaining.

I'm sorry I'm across as a bit cold but my guess would be that you are the best chance of making your life better.

dannerz i am not here to judge, i know how it feels when your love is un-returned or something is blocking your way. but i want you to understand you are not alone, and you are definitly not a waste of space of any kind. you seem like a bright individual that cupids arrow just happened to strike you. but understand that even if you cant be with this one person that just means there is someone better out there for you, i know it sounds ridiculous i really do. and i want you to know that I am sending you a message with my personal email in it. you can either pm me here or send a message to it i get on several times a day usually and i will be more than happy to even just listen to you, i will try my best not to inerrupt you, and theres tons of people on this forum that are probally willing to do the same. why? because you matter to us dannerz, your opinions, your stories everything. we become like an online family here and family help family. we are here to help you in all sorts of ways. so please message me back at least letting me know you got my email, and if you dont want to talk that is fine.

Yes, dannerz, please don't feel like you are alone in the matter.

Chances are that things will get better.

Harlock is right in what he says that we are a on lone family and we all care for each other the feelings and the emotions that every one has including you and you are worth it as a person for lack of words

we all go through problems and here these problems can be shared with us

You need to feel this so you can eventually feel what it is you want. The fact that you are experiencing what you are right now means that it's only a matter of time before you feel the opposite. Roller coaster, it's the 2 of everything before it goes into the 3 and beyond.

I suggest following a different perspective of life.

as in: adopt such a foreign lifestyle/self philosophy that it in no way is associated with your old/current one.

Always brings objectivity to me.

and as a side note, what you are experiencing is the "Its too much vanilla" syndrome. while vanilla is boring and the same, it is familiar and something to fall back upon in hard times.

well... nothing will happen unless u make it happen - my mom used to say and she was right.

in my opinion, ending ones own life is a waste and the act of utter stupidity - been there and almost done that. since than i've grown, learned so much and changed my own world in such ways i couldn't believe were possible.

as far as love goes... well this one is tricky. still... how do u know u won't end up together?! if he is The One, u will be together. my situation was really f*cked up - chances of me ending up with my One were... well they didn't exist for many reasons. still i KNEW he was IT and today i'm with him. i worked for it, i did what i had to do: i left everything and created my own life. i do not regret a single moment or thing about it all. so, don't conclude in advance.

so my advice would be: act, accept helping hand that people here are giving u (we ALL need it from time to time, no matter how strong/independent/self-sufficient we might be or seem) and stick around: there r sooo many wonderful things that u haven't seen.

p.s. u have a PM - contact me if u want to talk. well this goes for everyone since:
@Harlock: we become like an online family here and family help family.

my working hours: i'm online almost all day long :D

dannerz you know to pm me also, or I will see you on chat. As Red Serpent stated and of course Harlock Odin and others, we are a family here. We come together when one of us needs help. I hope you always remember that.