The Joke Thread!
ok, guys i KNOW you have some good jokes so lets hear 'em! i'll start it off
--------------------------------------------
A middle aged woman had a heart attack
and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table, she had a
near death experience.
Seeing God, she
asked,
'Is my time
up?'
God said, 'No, you have another
43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.'
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the
hospital and have a face-lift, brow lift, lip enhancement,
boob job, lipo-suction, and a tummy
tuck.
After her last operation, she was released from the
hospital. While crossing the street on her way
home, she was hit and killed by a car.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded,
'I thought you said I had another 40 years?
Why didn't you pull me out of the path of
the car?'
God replied,
'Girlllllll, I didn't even recognize you!'
People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering. - st. Augustine
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. -Albert Einstein
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